A New Beginning
The beginning of a new life starts with some pain and a little bit of
sorrow. I’ve been watching my mom for the last 5 years living on the
road on her motorcycle. I was always envious of her for doing just that,
living. So when the next chapter of my life was about to be written I
decided to join her for a few months. The reasoning behind my joining
her was pretty simple, to see how she did it and bond with her on her
level. Life seamed to become dull, the excitement for the world I once
felt seemed to have disappeared and everything became redundant. Not to
mention the pain that was brought about due to a recent breakup. It was
time for something new, something different, something out of the
ordinary for most.
I left the house my ex and I had bought together with a storage
container half full and my motorcycle packed with everything I thought I
might need. A tent, a tarp, a couple sleeping bags, a small foam mat, a
flashlight, a pair of boots, a few pairs of pants, a few shirts, a
leather jacket given to me from a friend, my chaps and some knickknack
items. I hopped on my bike and off I went. It was about 6pm and I was
heading east trying to make it to South Dakota to meet up with my mom. I
had little knowledge of the journey that lied ahead but I was ready to
learn and experience it with an open mind.
As I crested the Pedrogosa Mountains in Arizona the sun started to set and my mirrors were filled with the brilliant oranges and gold’s of the summers desert sunset as the clouds absorbed the last bit of sun of the day. The start of a beautiful feeling started to overwhelm me as the weight I’ve been carrying on my shoulders for the last few years was yanked off as if there was a chain tied to the past that was slowing me down. I began to feel a freedom that I haven’t felt in a long time.
This was the freedom I felt as a kid running through the Jacumba mountains
with my brother, the freedom from the rat race, wake up go to work, come
home fix dinner, take a shower, go to sleep just to wake up and start
over again. The freedom of a really self-absorbed life. Nothing around
me seemed to exist, maybe it was me that didn’t exist. The beauty in
life had become a dull kind of uh yeah sunset, uh stars, oh look a wild
animal. Tears welled up in my eyes at this regained emotional state and I
almost felt the need to pull off of the road to celebrate in a well
deserved cry for a new beginning, a cry for I’m actually doing
something, a cry for the excitement that I wasn’t sure about the future
again, a cry for being in the moment which was long coming. Instead I
laughed and gave out a scream of joy and continued on my journey. As the
excitement built inside me I found myself going faster and faster and
really enjoying the speed on the open highway.
The ride after the sun went down seemed to be a beautiful adventure in itself.
The sky was like a big mouth just waiting to swallow me up. The stars
were so bright I could have probably ridden without lights. The
temperature was almost a perfect 80 degrees and the wind that blasted me
was a warm tropical wind. I was in heaven. I was in the moment; nothing
seemed to matter except the road and the beauty of the stars dancing in
the skies. I found myself swaying back and forth in ecstatic pleasure.
It seemed there was no one in the world except for me and the couple of
cars that were on the road, at that moment I was once again one with the
moment, one with my raw emotions, and one with the gods of the road. I
was a kid again without a care, without worry, experiencing life again
instead of just going through the motions.
When
it came time to find a campsite I had no idea what I was going to do
with myself. Like a kid out in the neighborhood for the first time I
looked to my mom for advice. I was directed to look at the truck stops
and camp there but I didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of a bunch of
truckers. This was still all too new to me and so as it started to get
late I found myself pulling into a hotel with a motorcycle in the front.
As I walked in the gentleman inside greeted me and offered me a room
for a discounted rate. He told me I could keep my bike under the awning
with his. He assured me he would watch it so I kindly thanked him and
went to my room to shower and sleep. It seemed like it took me a long
time to fall asleep that night with the excitement of my new adventure.
With thoughts racing through my head, “ Am I doing the right thing”,
“What happens if I like doing this so much I don’t want to stop”, “How
will this life affect my daughter”, “What if I die on the road”, what if
what if what if… finally I fell asleep and woke ready to join the road
again. After a good breakfast I left enjoying the cool morning air as I
rode into the sun.
I left the house my ex and I had bought together with a storage
container half full and my motorcycle packed with everything I thought I
might need. A tent, a tarp, a couple sleeping bags, a small foam mat, a
flashlight, a pair of boots, a few pairs of pants, a few shirts, a
leather jacket given to me from a friend, my chaps and some knickknack
items. I hopped on my bike and off I went. It was about 6pm and I was
heading east trying to make it to South Dakota to meet up with my mom. I
had little knowledge of the journey that lied ahead but I was ready to
learn and experience it with an open mind.As I crested the Pedrogosa Mountains in Arizona the sun started to set and my mirrors were filled with the brilliant oranges and gold’s of the summers desert sunset as the clouds absorbed the last bit of sun of the day. The start of a beautiful feeling started to overwhelm me as the weight I’ve been carrying on my shoulders for the last few years was yanked off as if there was a chain tied to the past that was slowing me down. I began to feel a freedom that I haven’t felt in a long time.
This was the freedom I felt as a kid running through the Jacumba mountains
with my brother, the freedom from the rat race, wake up go to work, come
home fix dinner, take a shower, go to sleep just to wake up and start
over again. The freedom of a really self-absorbed life. Nothing around
me seemed to exist, maybe it was me that didn’t exist. The beauty in
life had become a dull kind of uh yeah sunset, uh stars, oh look a wild
animal. Tears welled up in my eyes at this regained emotional state and I
almost felt the need to pull off of the road to celebrate in a well
deserved cry for a new beginning, a cry for I’m actually doing
something, a cry for the excitement that I wasn’t sure about the future
again, a cry for being in the moment which was long coming. Instead I
laughed and gave out a scream of joy and continued on my journey. As the
excitement built inside me I found myself going faster and faster and
really enjoying the speed on the open highway.
The ride after the sun went down seemed to be a beautiful adventure in itself.
The sky was like a big mouth just waiting to swallow me up. The stars
were so bright I could have probably ridden without lights. The
temperature was almost a perfect 80 degrees and the wind that blasted me
was a warm tropical wind. I was in heaven. I was in the moment; nothing
seemed to matter except the road and the beauty of the stars dancing in
the skies. I found myself swaying back and forth in ecstatic pleasure.
It seemed there was no one in the world except for me and the couple of
cars that were on the road, at that moment I was once again one with the
moment, one with my raw emotions, and one with the gods of the road. I
was a kid again without a care, without worry, experiencing life again
instead of just going through the motions.
When
it came time to find a campsite I had no idea what I was going to do
with myself. Like a kid out in the neighborhood for the first time I
looked to my mom for advice. I was directed to look at the truck stops
and camp there but I didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of a bunch of
truckers. This was still all too new to me and so as it started to get
late I found myself pulling into a hotel with a motorcycle in the front.
As I walked in the gentleman inside greeted me and offered me a room
for a discounted rate. He told me I could keep my bike under the awning
with his. He assured me he would watch it so I kindly thanked him and
went to my room to shower and sleep. It seemed like it took me a long
time to fall asleep that night with the excitement of my new adventure.
With thoughts racing through my head, “ Am I doing the right thing”,
“What happens if I like doing this so much I don’t want to stop”, “How
will this life affect my daughter”, “What if I die on the road”, what if
what if what if… finally I fell asleep and woke ready to join the road
again. After a good breakfast I left enjoying the cool morning air as I
rode into the sun.